S.A.S.C.A.

2007-08-16T07:30:00.000+02:00

exact location is disclosed upon purchase of a ticket (it will be in the Sandringham Area) there will be a live band as well as a fire show... may the force be with you.

Notice of movement

2007-05-23T11:46:00.000+02:00

hey guys, kinda moved over to facebook now but will try to keep this site up to date with notices as well. throwing shapes..... sweet.

What we actually do as students...

2007-04-18T07:18:00.000+02:00

Doors

2007-03-11T04:24:00.000+02:00

Hey hey. just want to say hi to all out there. Also want to say to everyone check out the Doors website. for non South African people, Doors is an alternative/rock nightclub. Check the link.
www.thedoorsnightclub.co.za

O-WEEK ANTICS!!!!!!

2007-02-19T10:48:00.000+02:00

O-week was madness this year with near continuous insobriety for the duration of the week. Many tricks were performed and members signed up... all of which had the option of buying an awesome shirt... balls to you if you didn't.
We can't leave out the notorious 3-storey funnel which... needless to say... ensured the happiness of the crowd. Rock on waffle

why would you need that many raisins???

Napoleon has been found...

2007-02-18T02:32:00.000+02:00

"Pretty much the worst movie ever made...and you're like the only kid in school with a moustache.."

The "Straight" eh .... ning!

2007-02-18T02:25:00.000+02:00

Um...

Ja...

Operation "Make friends back at home jealous" has been initiated...

2006-12-03T21:28:00.000+02:00

ENOUGH SAID!!!!! HAHAHAhahahahahaha.....

Brave Sir Arthur

2006-11-27T09:33:00.000+02:00

Brave Sir Arthur, a squire of greatness and unbelievable talent (i would list them but you wouldn't believe me) from the mystical lands of gold was seeking an altered state of mind when he disembarked from his grove castle of the view of the mountain. He began his quest of insobriety at the fabled club of the night: Barricades.

He claimed that strength and honour were on his side and that he would never fall victim to the evil sorceress: THE LABEL OF BLACK, but soon his claims were null and void... he began to show signs of weakness..

Before falling into a deep slumber , the likes of which Snow White could not fathom....

and out!

His journey back to his mighty castle were only made possible by two of his stout knights..
Beej, the one of alternate sexuality...
and I, none other than the incredible Fatboy.... the one of stupidity

sleep tight brave Prince Arthur

It's a sign

2006-10-25T22:27:00.000+02:00

Greeetings from the land of musty paper, smudged ink and photo copies that were made by illiterate nuns with no arms and bad breath.

I thought some cheering up needed to be done so check out these signs...

Frozen Throne of the long lost DUCK!!!!

2006-10-10T09:24:00.000+02:00

Once upon a time... in a galaxy far, far away... the mighty wizard, wise in all his ways: Waz and the child of mass: Fatboy were involved in a excursion which took many suns and moons. We descended upon a magical shop of the tuck which stood in its desolate landscape of the Archery range. Immediately we began to investigate this place of power and found, within its mystical barriers, a large, rectangular cooling device.. a brand of the likes we had never seen in our pathetic little lives.

Upon the opening of this doorway to the icy lands of the fridge... we discovered, confined within its borders... a lost soul.. a poor creature of the abiss... a duck, named Frederick (which we guessed). We began to mourn his cruel imprisonment... but were soon cheery again and began to tke photos and swim with him, until he bagan to smell... at which point we placed him back into his chilly chamber of torture.

Goodbye Fred, we'll miss you.

LOST!!!!

2006-10-02T06:58:00.000+02:00

Have you seen this monkey???

We seem to have lost our co-president of S.A.S.C.A.
Haven’t seen it for many moons.
Around 3 feet tall.
Has a small furry creature called Edmond attached to left ear.
Answers to the name “Betsy the dancing duck”

BEWARE:
Ø Has homosexual tendencies.

Ø Attached to extreme emotional issues.
Ø Occasionally bursts out in extreme violent behaviour.
Ø Eats extravagant amounts of cheese.
Ø Performs many self-inflicted sexual acts.
Ø Holds a striking resemblance to Annabelle the sheep (do not get confused).
Ø Drinks vast amounts of goats piss and other excrement.
Ø Has been in various “popular” movies.

If found please contact any of the leading brands in Television sets and washing machines at yourmomeatsshampoo@absolutecrap.cargo.corp

Sprung Party

2006-09-18T20:44:00.000+02:00

Good morrow fair maidens and gentle squires...
Salutations and hearty greetings to you all...

As promised by the obese child, the Beej hereby presents to you a residual narrative of the festivities heralding the advent of the Spring Equinox, described by certain renowned medieval scholars as the Sacred Festival of Shameless Debauchery and Rampant Insobriety.

The pious monks of SASCA, fiercely determined to conduct the Celebration with due reverence and dignity, embarked on an epic Quest to acquire only the finest sacrificial fluids to be gleaned from the rustic plains of the Savoury Estate. The gallant heroes returned with the following spoils: 8 x cases of the Golden Mead (cheap local beer); 2 x case of the fair maiden's sap (lame chick drinks); 3 x bottles of Holy Water (dirt-cheap Russian engine-degreaser) and respectable draughts of other variety (some other shit).

Sir David Hasselhoff - the strongest and most ruthless of all the SASCA dukes - was renowned throughout the realm for having empty eye-sockets and for being the only kid in Catholic school who didn't get fondled by the priests. It is sung by the bards that he once "tuned a dragon like a shitty old Telefunken" inquiring the following of the fearsome lizard: "Fare thee well, Squire? Would you like a portion of me?" Upon which, the fiery beast did recoil in terror and retreat into it's dingy hovel, crying like a bastard on Father's Day, never to be seen again (until its cameo appearance as The Iceberg in the movie Titanic, but nobody watched that crap anyway).

Yea! By Jove! Indeed, the Festival was attended by all and sundry - nobles and peasants, gentlemen and rogues, ladies and "ladies", jews and gentiles, some lesbians, and even the village idiot...

[Have pity - he was startled by the bright lights.]

All in attendance conducted themselves righteously in raucous revelry and selflessly sacrificed their sobriety to the gods (except of course the venerable King Arthur the Abstinent, before whose sparkling shaved legs we humble peons do prostrate ourselves in eternal servitude). One such plebeian, Riccmeister the Drunk, elected to sacrifice more than merely his sobriety, by entering an ancient consecrated Trance of indefinite serene stillness followed by a sudden eruption of tremendous anger and furious violence. And, once he had surrendered unto the gods his temperament, his consciousness (briefly), his faculty of self-control and ultimately his "The Narrow - Travellers" t-shirt, the Council of Elders could readily conclude that the Party had indeed been sufficiently sprung...

[Caution/Gevaar/Ingozi: Deeply spiritual Trance in progress - Please wear goggles]

Until next year, when we shall once again have occasion to bask in the splendour of the Equinox, I, the Meister of Beej, bid you adieu!

Rics' Incestual ramblings

2006-09-16T18:43:00.000+02:00

Yes I know I'm not beej however I feel i must post an apology to all who were at the party. My behavior was somewhat disturbing. I'd like to apologise to the following people in no particular order:

Fatboy (for breaking a chair and your heart)
Big-dave (for ruining your jacket - i admit i wasn't drunk when i did that, i just didn't like it)
Blake (Yes it was the first time you saw me like that and i' sure it won't be the last)
Beej (For what i don't know but i'm sure i did something)
Blake (You thought i was on acid in a way i was, acid reflux more like it from the funnelling of too much beer)

The door (I'm really sorry for punching you, no seriously sorry, my hand still f++king hurts)

The guy who fixes exhausts outside the scout hall (It was me who trashed your corner of stuff, luckily you never left your blowtorch stuff there.)
Fatboy (for neglecting my martail duties - i realise i was suppose to stop people from doing what i did. Think of it as a trainig session for the other martials :How to handle a raving lunatic)
Dave (Your jacket isn't that bad)
Beej (for what i still don't know wait it's coming to me oh yes no wait f++k can't remember)
Neil (Ypu weren't there)
Fatboy (for doing it on your couch)
Anyone else who was offeneded (F++k off)

Co - president riccmeister signing out.

Spring Party

2006-09-15T07:28:00.000+02:00

Well!
The organisation of the party began somewhat late and even though there were a few glitches, we still managed to pull it off. The day of the function we proceeded to the store of "party accessories for beginners" and bought a large quantity of alcoholic beverages. With a ticket each person would recieve 8 free drinks!!

The event started off well with all participants being very good sportsmen and proceeded to get completely wasted... whereupon certain people used other people to perform a human bowling exercise.
As the evening went on, the staff were able to drink more and more, hence they got drunk (this weird side effect of drinking alcohol).

Ric was caught off-guard by this extravagant side-effect and ended up being particularly wasted, to the point where the only person you can talk to is the bucket in front of you. Good on you Ric.

Beej will post a follow through of the evening.
Many sausages in a pan with marmite.
I can turn on all the taps in my house.
Yours in Sillyness
Fatboy

Who's a raving homo?

2006-09-14T06:58:00.000+02:00

Good crap talkin day to you fellow comrades

Ok, it was a moment of weakness, i remember putting my head on the floor of that bathroom, a flashback of Arthur laughing at me in my garden and thankfully... waking up the next morning.
Ben... oh ITS ON!!!

I do believe i have been wrongfully accused of certain activities in which i would prefer never to participate in... the evidence is all so overwhelming, how did you find the Di Caprio posters??? And how did you find the G-string, i was wearing it!
In trying to locate some of these pieces of evidence... like the adolescent(found in my space case from primary school)... i managed to uncover some rather interesting pictures myself...

Not very incriminating but I thought i could show you how much Ben really loves me... how could you not post our wedding photo Ben? i can't believe you left that one out!!

Upon further investigation i found this!!!! How could you cheat on me Ben? Why? am i not good enough for you????!!!!!!!!! I hope the Teddy was good to you Ben, cause its over now, i just can't keep seeing you after this clear act of adultery.

Right... so i'd just like to end this off...
Who is the raving homosexual here???

That's right Ben, you have been found guilty of complete and utter crap by the high court of Lludweiser von cheese and pancakes, you are hereby sentenced to sillyness and nonsense for the rest of your life, good thing you know me. Hence you are required to remain a member of SASCA for your devotion to crap. On behalf of SASCA i would like to congratulate you for your nonsense speaking abilities, you will recieve a prize of absolutely nothing for your efforts!!! keep it up

Sweet dreams baby.

Brought to you by the only crap speaking "Fatboy"

forever faithful to nothing for my existence.... Please don't finish the cheese

"Benjamin!!! Did you pass a solid into the upstairs lavatory?"

Fatboy's coming-out party!!!

2006-09-11T21:44:00.000+02:00

Greetings comrades!!!

As the resident investigatory gremlin of SASCA, I believe that it is my solemn duty to inform you all of some rather troubling yet, in truth, unsurprising developments that have transpired over the past weekend.

Our beloved Mr Co-President of SASCA, The succulent Mr Lluddwig ap Guava Juice, on Sunday did host at his residence a long-overdue Coming-Out party, at which he did reveal to his colleagues that he is, and always has been, a raving homosexual.

While he was passed out on his bathroom floor (see above), I investigated his room and discovered the following incriminating evidence: 1 x Titanic DVD; 1 x Ace of Base CD; 3 x posters of Leonardo di Caprio; 1 x kidnapped adolescent bound and gagged in the cupboard, covered in mustard; 74 x charm bracelets; 1 x rainbow g-string declaring "I love it when balls are in my face"; and the disturbing photograph you see below.

It appears to be a wedding photo. It must have been a beautiful ceremony.

I just thought I should let you all know...

Yours insincerely,

Beejmeister, The.
SASCA's RAU gremlin of SASCA.

Worshipper of all things Stupid.
Collector of rare Guatemalan cheese and Danish polony.
Yo mama's favourite carol singer, whose handsomeness, genius and wit are paralleled only by his modesty and humility.

[DISCLAIMER: The discriminatory views expressed in this post are not necessarily the views of SASCA or its members - they are the pathetic ramblings of a sexually-deprived worthless little bigot with no friends and a penchant for feet. SASCA has always respected, defended, advocated, blahblahbigwordated, propagated, legaljargonated and promulgated the sacred principle that everybody has the right to do whatever the hell they want, as long as they clean it up afterwards (semen is such a persistent stain).]

2006-08-20T11:12:00.000+02:00

Hey Hey Hey... Anyone for a Drink?????

Sausages

2006-08-20T11:07:00.000+02:00

Finally I've decided to grace all you S.A.S.C.A. fans with my precence. Yes it's me the other co-president of S.A.S.C.A. Hope you are all excited to here what I have to say.

The newest member..

2006-08-06T21:03:00.000+02:00

Everyone please welcome the newest member to sasca... Valentina!

continued,...

2006-08-06T20:44:00.000+02:00

TITS 21ST

2006-08-06T20:29:00.000+02:00

in commemmemememoration of our co-president Ricc's 21st birthday we decided to share with you what went on...

Our Co - Presidents are into all things healthy what you see is absolutely not smoke. It was jus really cold in - doors ( I PUN I PUN!!!!!!!)

2006-07-04T20:21:00.000+02:00

2006-06-21T16:08:00.000+02:00

These must be the most ridiculousesesesest glasses in the majority of the worlds.... Introducing the fatkid, a.k.a. Smurf, a.k.a. Lerato. I dunno, just looks like a knob to me.

Stupid

2006-05-04T08:19:00.000+02:00

In Honor of Stupid People . . .In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed throughstupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)====================================
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
===========================
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
============================
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
========================
On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
========================
On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot afterheating."
(...and you thought????...)
========================
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn\'t this save me time?)
========================O
n Sainsbury\'s peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
========================
American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
========================
On a child\'s Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does notenable you to fly."
(I don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
========================O
n a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your handsor genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
========================

2006-04-18T10:06:00.000+02:00

Introducing the other president of S.A.S.C.A. Mr. Ricmeister, Riceric maggioli. Another loyal supporter of absolute and utter crap. This one is of him in the middle of Cresta shopping centre.

2006-04-18T10:04:00.000+02:00

I just thought this was classic... figure it out for yourself.

2006-04-18T10:01:00.000+02:00

Warren not feeling so kosher after the new year celebrations, its ok waz. We still love you man.... and you love the couch, its all good.

Bananas in Marmite

2006-04-17T20:32:00.000+02:00

Introducing SASCA's Dishonourable Mr President of SASCA: His Royal Munificent Highness, Count LLUDDWIG VON GWYNETH PALTROW!

2006-04-16T18:21:00.000+02:00

Long may he reign!
And drizzle... and snow... and sleet... and fall to the Earth in other forms of precipitation!

All Hail (the hard icy balls)!

Pop Quiz

2006-04-16T17:54:00.000+02:00

2006-04-16T12:54:00.000+02:00

happy easter peoples

2006-04-13T15:33:00.000+02:00

Just to let everybody know... we now have a clubroom in the matrix, lower floor.

2006-04-12T12:34:00.000+02:00

EAT SUGAR COATED ELASTIC BANDS!!!
??? eht tahW
Because we can!
Look out for more stunts.
Meetings on amphitheatre or library lawns, Wednesday lunch.

P.S. There was a horse… and a marble… and a multi-coloured imp!

2006-04-10T11:20:00.000+02:00

just some random things that we found amusing to get us started ... all stunts and news will be posted on this site... look for more.